The stories we tell ourselves tend to limit us more than facilitate our better self. "I'm this way. I'm that way. I don't do that well. I always do this."
Our youthful attempts to grasp at personality end up producing a reflexive, historical, and/or familiar sense that who we are and what we will be is predetermined, or somehow outside our control. We internalize other people's projections of us, or assume traits as if uncontested truths that we can't step outside of.
And why do that? Doesn't that approach rob us of our emotional & spiritual autonomy?
There's value in questioning the stories we've been telling about who we are. Especially the ones that box us in, keeping us in old, less-useful patterns that cater to versions of ourselves that prevent us from growing.
The stories we tell ourselves are the overlays for how we understand our place in this crazy thing called life.
Even so, we get to choose our own story. Do our experiences and specific context affect us? Undoubtedly. But that's the part to reconcile. We don't always have to double down.
We can split the difference too.