If externalities in economics are the things we don’t want to factor in because they complicate the equation, then social externalities are similar…
The negative affects of what we do and how we behave that creates issues for others, while divesting from the responsibility to solve the problem we created.
While we all need boundaries and must insist on certain ways of being interpersonally, the real rub here is being conscientious and curious about what the people around us, usually our families, think we are getting wrong.
Feedback is part of it. A huge part.
If we’re not willing to listen to feedback, we’re likely externalizing a lot socially - easily & surgically removing our responsibility from the reality of how people experience us.
We have to be open to feedback from the people we love
We likely all admit we are not perfect… re-read #1.
Upside is on the other side of feedback and the perspective it gives us.
Ask the people you’re close to how they would rate your willingness to accept feedback.
Cross reference that with the score you give yourself.
Work on the delta.