Charlottesville

What happened in Charlottesville over the weekend proves that the notion of existing in a post-racial America is a complete fantasy. The "I don't see skin color" version of public policy mixed with a talking point that helps back away from the cultural and social work we really need to do. I've been sick to my stomach watching footage of the riots and that car mowing down our fellow people.

It's made me so angry that I feel a rush of primal, testosterone-laced adrenaline that reverts to physicality, and wants to pummel those whose ideas I find disgusting and fucked up.

My mind quickly comes back to violence and it's true nature. It's never a solution. It never ends anything. It merely accelerates the eye for an eye approach. It's made me think just how radical nonviolence really is. It's sooooo hard to do. To remain truly nonviolent in communication and action is no easy feat, especially when directed at our perceived enemies.

The thing is, nonviolence destabilizes the entire back and forth that violence perpetuates. It knocks it off its axis. Calling for LOVE for those who desire the annihilation of anyone that doesn't look like them is the hardest test.

Can we truly love our racist brothers and sisters out of their fundamentalist lens? Do we have the stomach for it?

I don't know if we can and I don't know if we do.

I also don't know if violent retaliation does anything more than temporarily suppress those notions, as opposed to changing them.

I just don't know.

Squeaky wheels & context

The way we approach any situation always depends on context. Or at least it should. Applying one rule to getting what we want (usually, respect) runs the risk of missing out on obvious clues that'll help us achieve that goal. Squeaky wheels only get grease when the request is reasonable, justified, and approached in a way where everyone's dignity remains in tact.

Otherwise, squeaky wheels run off the rails without context, interactions suffer, and goals go by the wayside.

Whether it's a client, managing a team we work on, or someone providing us with a service, we're better off communicating fairly & giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Putting our foot down doesn't mean raising our volume.

1 in 7.5 billion

We should give ourselves some credit. Every single one of us is incredibly unique.

How might we?

The other day I read a really great article (long after it's 2012 publication date) that talked about a phrase companies like Google and IDEO employ to get brains thinking creatively and collaboratively. How?

As in, we need a new solution and we are open to it.

might ...

We are open to big ideas, off the wall ideas. We're removing the 'dumb idea' option from the table. Let's think big.

we...

Together. We're building this together, inherently.

To this point, how might we foster spaces, dialogues, and communities that truly embrace the 'how might we' prompt?

... By asking it of ourselves every time something doesn't work.

Emotional symptoms

The dark side of individuality is the practice of acting as though our emotions are the only, or most relevant reality. If how we feel trumps everything else, we risk habitually convincing ourselves of a hugely selfish way of interacting with the world. Our emotions are symptoms. They're not "how things are." And really, how could they be? Any one person's emotions are the product of one intersection point with reality. It's hardly consensus.

That said, what should our emotional symptoms tell us? What process should ensue as the result of noticing our emotions and unpacking their origins?

Perhaps the way we feel really isn't that important.

Perhaps it has more to do with how our feelings affect the way we live. After all, two conclusions can certainly lead to two totally different actions.

If productive mental states open the door for productive realities, we could be well served by parsing emotional symptoms from the realities we ascribe to them.

Finding proof

We're often looking to prove a hypothesis, or more aptly, a deeply held belief, as opposed to just letting the data tell us what's going on. That's because we're all biased in one way or another, and that's not a bad thing, but it should color how we think about expanding our worldview.

What's more, there's no political leaning when it comes to people undercutting answers before they ever hear them. That happens on the left as much as the right.

We can find proof for anything, but is that really the point?

Only if planting your feet in wet concrete sounds promising.

Springboards for more springboards

"This just in..." is a phrase we hear every day. It both relates to the insanity of our 24 hour news cycle, and the rapidly increasing pace at which the universe expands and reveals itself. As we think we have the full picture, there's more to consider.

In that light, conclusions are really just springboards for more springboards.

And that's precisely the suspicion held by those of us who'd rather not ask the next question. We're timid in the face of uncertainty. We fear the possibility of receiving more than we bargained for.

But if we understand that we'll never have the whole picture, we automatically make our work more focused and our lives more practical. We can look at everything as a test in which we're open to the results, as opposed to hellbent on proving something.

Being willing to ask a question entails being prepared for the answer, but if springboards lead to more springboards, we risk a lot less.

And we stay on our feet.

The Top 3 Reasons Why Conclusions are Dicey

1. They never last.
2. They never have.
3. They close us off to people, ideas, places, and better ways of being.

Let's be suspicious of our own conclusions. The future has a funny way of providing relevant data.

(Dis)armed with stories

We're all armed with stories... but maybe our stories should really disarm us... We possess tales of caution, irreverence, disappointment, and victory. It's that breadth that can make gaps hard to bridge.

Being honest with ourselves about our stories and the perceptions we bring to certain ideas, places, and types, can help decipher why we each play the role we tend to play.

If we're armed with stories, the connotation is one of battle.

But our stories should do the opposite for us. They should give us a better understanding of our place in the world, not a default reaction to provide.

Our stories don't yield the universal truths we so often like to ascribe to them, but they do tell us something about ourselves.

You'll never walk alone

I recently spent 12 days in Costa Rica for my little sister's wedding. I officiated the proceedings, it was beautiful, and so so happy. After the wedding weekend, we made our way to another location for more chillin'. I met a gentleman in one of the restaurants, who was wearing a Liverpool FC jersey (next season's away kit) and I immediately told him how great it looked as he walked up.

We chatted about my seeing a Liverpool game in the mid-90's that made me a fan forever. Robbie Fowler, 2 goals (a brace), on a rainy Saturday night at Highbury, the home of Arsenal FC.

We buddied up, and a few days later, this gentleman, Matt, walked up to me with a red flag rolled up in his hand.

He told me that the flag had been waved proudly in The Kop, the supporters end of Anfield, Liverpool's famed stadium. I got goosebumps.

He gave me the flag, and I felt as though I had been knighted. We've since stayed in touch, chat on Whats App, and I've been invited to join him at Anfield one day.

You may not be into soccer, and you may not care that Liverpool is gearing up for an important season, but the point to be made, is that a simple greeting can open the door to some really cool experiences.

One mere commonality can not only create connection, but it also validates the idea that looking for the overlap goes a long way.

What if our first thought was about the space where the Venn diagram converges, not the portions where it doesn't? What if we paired that with a smile?

If we're open to it, the lyrics are true... You'll Never Walk Alone.

Socialized

When things are socialized, we do them together. What's so wrong with that?

You make ideas real

I wrote this article so that artists can refer to a playbook when looking to get more eyes on their work, garner more shows, and sell more art. The funny thing is, the word "artist" can be substituted for the words "business owner" or "entrepreneur", as well as a list of other titles that essentially mean, you make ideas real.

Being strategic means giving our art a fighting chance.

Art = ideas in practice.

Is this thing on?

It's been a while since I've written here consistently... I hope your volumes aren't entirely turned down! I'm hoping to get back to it more regularly, and I'd love to discuss questions or ideas you have about communication, business, strategy, intentional living, or anything else, really.

Reply to this email with your angle, question, idea, or takeaway, and I'll make it a topic for this blog.

Maybe it's something you struggle with, need clarity on, or are looking to build strategically. Or maybe it's a story of learning that you think could be applied broadly.

Whatever it is, it'd be fun to try your hat on for size in a way that might help other people on this list.

Thanks for opening this email and for coming with me on this continued journey of thought experimentation, value creation, and mission alignment.

Don't be the bureaucracy

If the answer is NO before we actually know that to be true, we're the bureaucracy. If dragging our feet makes us feel powerful, we're the bureaucracy.

When creating roadblocks "because we've always done it that way", we're the bureaucracy.

When we pass along ideas we haven't tested, we're the bureaucracy.

If we only spring into motion when it benefits us directly, we're the bureaucracy.

When we assume better can't be done, we're the bureaucracy.

The greatest antidote to red tape is selflessly disarming impediments to progress that we construct ourselves. Hell, we can't rag on the bureaucracy if we're helping it subsist.

Don't be the bureaucracy.

The other side of every coin

Heads = WHY. Tails = HOW.

Letting our guard down

There's huge upside to letting our guard down. My friend John once told me that he's never had someone share as much of their inner, emotional experience as I have with him. That's either a compliment or a plea for me to shut up, lol.

But having relationships in which we can share that interiority is vital. I'm not suggesting we tattoo any insecurity on our forehead, but I am saying that we should treat these special relationships as the gold that they are.

Real connection comes from sharing more than merely the highlights. If we let our closest friends see our incomplete selves, we share hope for betterment while providing insight into another human being who's (also) just trying to figure things out.

Lets share the stuff that shows we're unsure.

It'll help us all realize that we're not the only ones wondering what the hell is going on.

Calibrating for change

Every 6 months, I tend to mentally hit the refresh button. Whether it's a turning point in business, a new project, an interesting prospect, or a personal evolution, I'm realizing that two things always float to the surface as I question what the hell I'm doing or what's next...

1. Efficiency - no matter what the next move is, I better be trying to get more efficient all the time. Doing  so puts me in the best position to make a decision, whatever that happens to be.
2. Learning - to better move toward a range of possibilities, I need to always be learning, gaining new skills, and thinking about how value is and will be generated.

Regardless of who we are or where we're going, getting better at what we do and staying open to growth areas seems like a solid way to put one foot in front of the other... especially when we don't know what's coming next.

Perspective v reality

They are never the same. Once we start thinking they are, it's time to check ourselves.

The cost of deliberation

Waiting to make a change means incurring greater costs down the line. Larger organizations process decisions so much that they end up lowering productivity dramatically by creating a bureaucracy that is unable to move swiftly. If a project costs 10k to implement but we spend 4x as much effort as we should evaluating, jockeying, positioning, and deliberating, we just upped the cost of the project by the following equation: cost of labor multiplied by time spent deliberating.

Whether the project is renting a vending machine or launching a volunteering initiative, we're better off basing our evaluations of success on data, not notions of control.

If we're honest with ourselves, we know when those respective entities are steering the ship.

When we deliberate too much, we rob ourselves of an opportunity to let data determine efficacy.

If we make decisions quicker, speed up iteration cycles, and reduce the cost of launching, over time, we'll have spent much more of our days working on the aspects of creation and collaboration that move the needle forward, instead of gumming up the gears.

Deliberate too long and data takes a back seat. As a feeling man, this is something I'm learning myself.

Better values

'When we have poor values - that is, poor standards we set for ourselves and others - we are essentially giving fucks about the things that don't matter, things that in fact make our life worse. But when we choose better values, we are able to divert our fucks to something better - toward things that matter, things that improve the state of our well-being and that generate happiness, pleasure, and success as side effects.' - Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck