We are curators

If you know me, you know I'm expressive. For better or worse, I'm out loud. The thing is, I think so much still goes unsaid.

Both are reasons why I was so honored & excited to chat with my friend Kyle Wood for his podcast "I Love You Man" via Heartmen.net.

In Kyle's own words: "What I want to talk about is bringing your heart into every aspect of your life, so you can be your most fulfilled and most successful self (however you define those words)."

Kyle often focuses on how men deal with vulnerability, and I couldn't agree more that it's a topic requiring more discussion.

Among other things, in the podcast we talk about negative mind chatter, creating the space to do great work, the upside of vulnerability, the importance of learning new things as an adult, & how much I love my dad.

A sincere thank you to Kyle for including me in what I believe to be a really important project. For as fast as our world is these days, I value the deeper conversations that make us better, and I think this one could.

You can listen to the podcast here or on Itunes.

Never-ending upward trend

Our ability to learn, understand, and mature mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, always increases if we embrace new perspectives, expressions, ideas, experiences or truths. It's an upward trend. The other day I thought about the number of books written in the world (and then applied it to records, films, travel destinations, etc) and I was nearly winded by the enormity of it.

So much has been seen, said, thought, created, and advocated for.

I'll never get to it all, but the process of discovery encourages that intellectual & experiential trend to pick up momentum.

As in... life is the chance to learn & grow, constantly.

So what if we approached more situations with that at the forefront than defending our current opinion?

As in... maybe we should at least be open to changing our minds.

The upside is a never-ending upward trend.

Busy isn't better

How we do what we do, matters. In the last 6-9 months, I've really tried to map out my process.  I realize that if I continue to do so, I'll recover time while giving all my projects a higher probability of being great.

Everyone needs to unwind, so I'm not talking about non-stop strategy.

It's about structuring my work enough that I can get out of my own way.

I have a lot more to map out, but I've found that what I've done thus far for IPaintMyMind and my consulting clients has allowed me to work smarter, offer more value, & reduce wasted motion.

I guess I'm starting to realize that busy isn't better when effective is an option.

Love is the way

Yesterday I went on an amazing walk with my friend Christina in New York City. A whirlwind of activity that makes me want more, there's so much everything in the city that never sleeps. We wound from The Whitney Museum of American Art through the Meatpacking district, then jumped on the High Line through Chelsea, and made it all the way to the Upper West Side after pausing in Central Park ... all on foot.

Along the way we came across a post no bills wall, upon which a simple yet important message had been left for US... love is the way.

It's less about a warm & fuzzy way to sum up life and more about what love feels like.

If love is the way, it must be because love feels good.

So, what does love feel like to you?

How can we do, what we do, better?

I realize it's a lot to do with cutting to the chase. Push ahead, experience, find, go, be, or do... right now! This resonant impatience is something that feels embedded in our own evolution. We don't want to be incrementally better than we were yesterday, we want to be fully delivered, and now, dammit!

I think this is about often getting caught up in viewing our end goal and as the entire point of doing anything. As I write this, I'm reminded that it isn't.

We all derive so much pleasure, meaning, and community from the process of doing the things in which we contribute & excel. That's precisely as much reason to improve what we do, as is the obvious upside of creating something great.

Whether it's my good friend Dan Koentopp who passionately & painstakingly builds custom guitars from scratch, or a company like Simple Green Smoothies that lives its mission so incredibly authentically, fulfillment & joy encircles the process of making the thing, and making it well.

The experience of building the solution is as valuable as the goal itself.

Feeling joy, growing our missions and serving our communities are important results. With that in mind, how can we do, what we do, better?

If we can sniff that out both individually and collectively, we'll make an indelible mark.

- - -

P.s. Thanks for subscribing to the list. I'm really happy that you did... welcome.

A Space That Feeds Us

Hey everyone, Evan here. I hope this message finds you well. I'm reaching out because I'm starting a newsletter for my new personal website, EvanLaRuffa.com! The site will serve as a digital umbrella for my projects and the newsletter will be a place to ask questions, offer perspective, unpack strategy or enjoy creativity.

If you'd like to subscribe, I'd love to include you.

At the same time, I'd be honored if you checked out the first few posts that I've written, & I hope they convince you to stick around.

But I can relate. Email has definitely gotten out of hand.

I recently started using Trello & Slack for my teams & projects for that exact reason. These tools have allowed me to greatly reduce the amount of time I spend in my inbox and I highly recommend them. Productivity tool nerdery aside, if you'd like a little nugget from me (or someone I think highly of) every once in a while, I think this could be fun.

Over the past year, I've thought a lot about the concept of asking questions versus having answers. It can be easy to get swept away in the solutions, and we'll certainly take a look at those; but it can also be super useful to ask (at least) one more question.

Whether creative or strategic, there will be plenty of room to play, and I'd love to hear what you're gravitating toward. I want to spend time on areas of interest I'm passionate about, and that we can all dig into from one angle or another. Art, writing, curating, nonprofit development, digital strategy, meditation, vulnerability, running a business & similarly worthwhile shit.

The goal is to create a space that feeds us.

I hope you enjoy the ideas, questions, words, & images I share with you, and feel free to email me with any comments, questions, or suggestions. I'd love to hear from you.

Your Friend, Ev

5 Questions On Craft & Perspective

It’s interesting thinking about what it takes to get good at something.

How much effort goes into achieving something resembling mastery, while balancing that with the rest of what makes us who we are.

I’ve always identified as a dabbler. A lot of things interest me.

As a writer, I’ve always harbored distrust of the Gladwellian rule that says you need 10 thousand hours of practice to become masterful, or truly successful when it comes to your craft.

I see that two ways now:

1. It a daunting task. I’m intimidated. Practicing anything for 10,000 hrs require discipline. It’s not untrue that I’m interested in all these various aspects of life: art, food, music, travel, relationships, meditation, but I do realize that I might be spreading myself thin. I know there’s work to do (craft).

2. And secondly, it’s about what I uniquely bring to the table. Honoring my varied interests and experiencing as much as I can gives me the ability to describe life with words. I’m an experience junkie, so variety is key. It’s what makes me feel alive. I know there’s more to experience (perspective).

When it comes down to it, it’s great to dabble.

I also see the value of honing a craft.

I just hope to manage that better, giving myself the time to practice while staying open to new roads.

So, do you dabble or hone? And what does that tendency say about you?

The questions we ask ourselves give glimpses into what we face when making our mark. These 5 in particular:

What will I be known for?

What do people think of when they think of me?

How do I make people feel?

Will I be judged if I don’t become a master?

Will people see my skill?

Regardless of the answers, fear of not accomplishing something can’t keep us from trying.

We’ll probably have to both dabble & hone. I wish us luck.

Originally published on Medium.com

Freak Flags & Gifts Given

What does it mean to be 'yourself'?

We’ve all heard that being yourself was the best thing to be. As if somehow being who we are in a single moment is an authentic thing to be forever.

I don’t believe authenticity has anything to do with staying who or where we are; it’s about being present in a way that makes others feel at home in who they are. When we do this, genuine connections ensue.

For that reason, I’ve always been a huge proponent of flying my freak flag high. The thing is, I’m a big proponent of everyone flying their freak flag high, assuming the gifts given are the items in focus.

Showing your feathers is about implicitly encouraging others to show theirs.

Living freely & openly is about what it does for other individuals, not the fact that you’re the subject of a larger story when you express yourself. However, being the subject does put you at the center for a moment, and there’s something dubious about that.

Dubious, in that other people can react to it in two ways based on how genuine they feel you are. They can celebrate with you or they can play the naysayer. They can high-five you or cut you down.

As someone with the personal tendency to live colorfully, I’ve experienced both. I’ve also noticed that my personal authenticity, which is a sensation I can feel in myself, is directly correlated with how people feel when I speak my mind, turn up my volume, or otherwise express myself openly.

We all know the difference between ego & equanimity. We’re all plugged in, despite our various ways of describing it.

Even so, there are times when the ego wins out. It says, ‘I want the glory dammit!” and well, that’s a hard voice to reason with sometimes. But being attuned to it is good for all of us. It creates the space to come together, occasionally mutually digesting things instead of pitting them against each other.

Checking in with ourselves, the worthwhile question seems to be the following:

Is this expression of mine about being the subject, or is it coming from an authentic place?

As long as we can keep an open dialogue with our ego, life can be about what we create for others when we live authentically.

Living your truth, following your bliss, growing your passions, developing your skills, engaging with your community, and constantly learning, are about giving others permission to do the same. As great it feels to live your life that way, it’s really not about us.

It’s about leading by example with so that everyone can ‘be themselves.’

Fly your freak flag & give a gift. It’s one of the most generous things you can do.

Don’t you think?

Original published on Medium.com